"I AM A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST!"
"Um ... okay?"
"EVERYTHING I TALK ABOUT IS RELATED TO THE ONE TRUE RELIGION OF PLANET EARTH ... CHRISTIANITY!"
"Can I ask one question?"
"Why are you yelling at me?"
[At this point, were this a video, I'd insert some sort of random, opening title sequence here.]
"I said, why are you yelling at me?"
"I CAN'T HELP IT."
"You're yelling because you can't help it?"
"YES, THAT'S RIGHT. GOD BLESS YOU."
"That doesn't make any sense. And I didn't sneeze!"
"A PERSON DOESN'T HAVE TO SNEEZE IN ORDER TO BE BLESSED BY GOD, ASSY MCDUMBASS!"
"Um, okay. But that doesn't explain why you're yelling."
"I'M YELLING BECAUSE I'M A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST! MY FANATACISM TOWARDS CHRISTIANITY HAS BLINDED ME TO INTELLIGENT SELF-EDUCATION AND THEREFORE I HAVE NO ACTUAL FACTS TO BACK-UP ANYTHING I SAY ABOUT HOW GOD HATES HOMOSEXUALS AND HOW A MAN MUST BE STONED AND CASTRATED FOR EVEN THINKING OF A WOMAN WHO IS NOT HIS WIFE, BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER."
"Right. And so the yelling is because ..."
"WELL, I'M YELLING IN HOPES THAT MY SHEER VOLUME WILL INCAPACATATE YOUR ABILITY TO REALIZE THAT MY DEFENSE OF CHRISTIANITY IS ABOUT AS STRONG AS A FART IN A HURRICANE."
"... would you mind terribly if I ask another question?"
"SINCE I AM A CHRISTIAN, I AM OPEN TO ANY AND ALL QUESTIONS. MIND YOU, IF I DON'T AGREE WITH WHERE THE QUESTION IS COMING FROM IN THE FIRST PLACE, I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU LATER."
"Why are you telling me all of this? Doesn't admitting that you have no clue whatsover kind of ruin any and all chances of you winning an argument about religion?"
"WHAT?! GOD-DAMMIT! JESUS-FUCKING-CHRIST! YOU HEARD ALL OF THAT?? I REALLY THOUGHT YOU WOULD HAVE TUNED OUT ALL THE YELLING BY NOW, YOU KNOW?"
Some people find it easier than others to accept the fact that not everything in the Bible is based on actual events. But there's still value in the "truth bearing myth" and what treasure as sacred stories. Watch the video and let us know what sacred stories are important to you.
In Rachelle's baby-steps approach to getting curious about the why of institutional religion, she takes a fresh look at tradition of communion and explores some different right-fit alternatives.
In this episode, Tripp explores the metaphor of a donut. It's an interesting thought-process: it's the hole in the donut that makes it interesting, therefore it's what people (and things) ARE NOT that potentially make them interesting. Watch the video -- Tripp does a much better job putting it into words.
The hole of opportunity? What are your donut holes?
(but not really)
THE HOLY BABBLE
The following is a work of comedic fiction.
Much like the original.
THE FOUNDING PRINCIPLES
Krumbinism is the pursuit of enlightenment, creativity, and harmony among the voices in our heads.
Religion is ridiculous. Therefore, it's about time that we establish a ridiculous religion.
Religions like Christianity tell you to look inward and find the little man living in your heart who tells you the difference between right and wrong. Krumbinism preaches looking inward and finding the multiple personalities living in your own head, embracing them, and throwing a party in their honor. Embrace the crazy. Seriously.
Humankind's greatest, innate ability is that of creationism. We possess inside ourselves the talent to form an idea and then to take that idea and manifest it into reality -- music, lyric, image, sound, story, gadget. Krumbinism states that in order for their to be harmony amongst the Egos (see Principle #2) all forms of creativity must be embraced and actively exercised.
There is no 4th Principle of Krumbinism.
THE PRAYER OF THE KRUMBINITES
Stay creative. Always.