Written by TheHairyGeek

CHARACTERS
TheHairyGeek
B
Chris


(starts partway through a conversation)

THG
Yeah, but when i do that it just goes frizzy on top.

B
If you try rubbing just a smidge of hairgel through it when it's wet, THEN use straighteners while the hair is still a little damp, that should sort it out.
(can use own advice for keeping hair straight and smooth, but must have the sound of a 'secret technique')

THG
Excellent, i'll try that next time, thanks.

CHRIS
(Cuts in)
Jesus, dude! Are you gay now?

THG
(looks confused)
Huh?

B
Ummm ....

CHRIS
Then you're a transvestite? You like dressing up in women's clothes and junk?

THG
Yeah, here's the thing, i've no idea what you're talking about.

CHRIS
Ahh, I know what this is ....
(starts to laugh at own joke)
You're like of of those circus freaks they used to have, the bearded lady!

B
(looking confused)

THG
(penny drops) This is about my hair isn't it?

CHRIS
Wow, took ya long enough to figure that out. Yeah this is about your hair. AND all the girl talk about keeping your hair
(voice changes to mocking and sarcastic)
silky smoooooth, and free of crinkles!
(flutters eyelashes towards the sky)

THG
Gotta keep it looking good, man.

CHRIS
What, for your boyfriend?

THG
What's your problem? All the greatest blokes from ancient mythology have had long hair, whatever fashion may have dictated, this was the ideal man! it's clearly not feminine! The Norse Gods were hard basterds, all long hair, Samson, his power came from his hair. And the big 2? Jesus and Mick Jagger!
(beat)
I rest my case

KENDREY
Wow, that's years of repression right there.

CHRIS
Ok, sorry man, i didn't realise it was that big a deal to you.

B
(confused)
Mick jagger isn't real?

THG
What?  No, look--just don't worry bout it.  Nevermind.

CHRIS
Sure thing, whatever.
(reaches forwards and turns of webcam)

THG
Okay, so, my next question

B
Yeah?

THG
This or this?
(hold up a couple of lipsticks)
Which goes best with my skintone?

END





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