Written by Jordan Krumbine

CHARACTERS
A
B
C

C
Okay, this might sound a little strange, but I need help with a question.

A
What's so strange about that?

B
Yeah, you're kinda missing a few marbles upstairs, so it's pretty much always gone without saying that you need help.

C
(sincere)
Wow.  That's very thoughtful of you.  

A
Um, no it wasn't.  He actually just insulted you.

C
(confused)
What?  When?

B
Skip it.  What's your question?

C
I had a question?

A
Oh my god ...

C
(grins)
Oh, I'm kidding!  I know what my question was.

B
Okay, so what is it?

C
(flat)
I said I knew what it was, not what it IS.  

A
You actually forgot what you were going to ask us?

C
It's not like I meant to forget my question!

B
How can you forget your own question?

C
Admittedly, it's the answer that's more interesting anyway.

B
What?!

C
What?!

A
Actually, that's a good point.  Not to get too philosophical or anything, but a question is merely the gateway to the answer.  No one really cares about the question itself, just the answers that it nets.  Even the person asking the question doesn't care much about the actual question -- they ask it solely to learn the answer.

B
.... okay, now my head hurts.

C
I want ice cream.  Or chocolate milk.  Oooh!  I remember!  If you have sex with a werewolf while it's in human form, is it still considered bestiality?

B
....

A
....

B
That's your question?

C
It's been bugging me since yesterday.  I can see how if you screw a werewolf while in wolf form, THAT'S bestiality ... but you gotta admit, in human form, that raises some interesting questions.  Right?

B
Wrong.  I don't have to admit to anything.

C
Yeah, but--

B
I will not engage in hypothetical discussions about sex with animals!

C
So you DO think it's bestiality!

B
(quick, angry)
That's not what I said!

A
Actually, I think that's another good point.

B
What?  Are you kidding me?!

A
No, not at all.  And it's hardly a hypothetical.  Granted, the premise of a werewolf in real life does seem absurd, but look at the world we live in today: we do things now that were conclusively deemed impossible a hundred years ago.  To say that werewolves are impossible is not only naive, but frankly embarrassingly foolish.

B
I really hate your logic sometimes.

A
Furthermore, with bestiality outright illegal in 17 out of 50 of the United States, as well as being summarily illegal in places like Canada, France, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, and Singapore, one would have to acknowledge the fact that in the event of the evolution of traditional-style werewolves, the legal ramifications of these laws will have to be carefully reconsidered in fear of unjust discrimination against man-wolf hybrids.

B
Okay, forget your logic.  I kinda just hate YOU right now.

END



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