Written by Jordan Krumbine

Characters:
A - male
B - male, furious
C - male or female



TITLES

A
This is not my fault!

B
This is ALL your fault!

A
It's not my fault!

B
Everything was fine until you got involved!

A
You ASKED me to get involved!

B
Well I didn't ask you to completely ruin this for me!  I was THIS close to landing the perfect job and I lost it because of YOU.

A
This is not my FAULT!

B
Oh, this is ALL YOUR FAULT.

C
Whoa, whoa, WHOA.  Guys.  What's going on?

B
He's out to get me.  He's trying to ruin my life and it's WORKING.

A
I have done no such thing and frankly I resent those words.

B
Oh, did I hurt your feelings?  GOOD.  You lost me my perfect job!  How does it feel to get stabbed in the back?!

C
Wow.  There's a lot of hostility in the air here.  

B
(super sarcastic)
Really?  Hostility?  You think?  Maybe because he LOST ME MY PERFECT JOB!

A
THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!

B
Are YOU the one who wrote the recommendation letter?

A
YOU ASKED ME TO!

B
THEN IT'S YOUR FAULT!

A
You're being unreasonable.
(to C)
He's being completely unreasonable.

C
What kind of recommendation letter did you write for him?

A
What kind--a damn good recommendation letter, that's what kind.

C
Well how did he lose the job?

B
Because the damn good recommendation letter WASN'T THAT DAMN GOOD!

A
No-no-no! No, it was good.  I put a lot of work into that letter.

B
Well, sweet mother of irony!  You put a lot of work in the letter and yet SOMEHOW managed to miss the one typo that COMPLETELY RUINED THIS FOR ME!

C
(amused)
Wait a minute, you lost the job because of a TYPO in the recommendation letter??

A
I wrote that his work ethic was such that it would take an act of god for him to miss a day.

C
Well, that doesn't sound so bad.

A
I know!  It was a damn good recommendation letter!

C
So what was the typo?

B
Yeah, BUDDY.  Tell him about the TYPO.

A
It was just a small thing.

C
A small thing?

A
Tiny, really.

B
It was NOT tiny!

C
What the hell was it?

A
It wasn't a big deal!

B
I LOST THE JOB!

C
For crying out loud!

A
I accidentally typed Tod!

C
.... what?

A
When I wrote "acts of god" I accidentally wrote "acts of tod".

C
What, that's it?

B
That's IT?!

A
(shrugs)
That's it.  Almost insignificant.

B
HOW CAN IT BE INSIGNIFICANT?!

C
How could he lose the job over a typo?

A
(shakes head)
I have no idea.

B
This is your fault!

A
This is SO not my fault!

B
This is ALL your fault!

A
Hey, maybe if you weren't trying to land a job with a company so deeply-rooted in right-wing pseudo-christian values, they wouldn't have freaked out over a goddamned typo!

B
Wait a minute ... did you do that on purpose?!  Did you purposely misspell god so I wouldn't get the job?!

A
Oh, come on!  I did no such thing!

C
And the plot thickens ...

B
Do you have any idea what that job PAYED?

A
What it payed?  What it PAYED?  Well, obviously it was enough if you were willing to ignore your moral and ethical values to be part of a company that actively condones ignorance, intolerance, and hate-mongering, all in the name of God! 

B
So you admit it!  You intentionally sabotaged this job for me!

A
It was an honest mistake!

B
But you're pretty damn happy about it!

A
Happy that MAYBE you see these people for what they are?  Damn straight!  That you didn't get a job that pays that much money?  Of course not!

B
(cooling off, but still angry)
... and it was just a typo?

A
Honest to Tod.

B
Goddammit!

C
Don't you mean Tod-dammit?

B
(starts to rage again and then stops)
... I hate my life.

END



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