Story by Benzone50
Written by Benzone50 and Jordan Krumbine


Characters 
A = Female
B = Male or Female
C = Male or Female

A
(upset)
I REALLY haven't been in the lucky house as of late.

B
The lucky house? What does that even mean?

C
What does it mean?  It doesn't mean anything.  We make our own luck, you know?  Even in situations that seem impossible without some kind of lucky influence, we've actually made decisions that have led us up to that moment.  Luck has nothing to do with it.

B
Ah, the whole "master of our domain" theory.

C
Yes, totally!

A
(angry)
What you're saying is that it's my fault that some jerk T-boned my car after running a red light, on my way home from the doctors, where I found out I have “Restless Leg Syndrome?”

B
(sympathetic)
Oooh ....

C
No, I'm saying that the decisions we make in our lives lead us to circumstances that while on first blush seem like the result of good or bad luck, are in actuality, products of our own actions!

A
What action of mine made the jerk-wad t-bone me?!

C
Well, I wouldn’t call it a direct action, but the action of you driving that day DID put you in the path of the aforementioned jerk-wad.

A
(annoyed with the lack of empathy)
Oh, I see.  You don’t consider it bad luck.  Fine.  Well, what if I told you that these circumstances that you seem to think are the results of my own actions, didn’t end with the car crash!!

B
Oh my god, really? There’s more? You poor thing.

A
Thank you. At least someone understands! 

B
So what else happened?

A
Well when I finally got home from the police station I had found my house had been broken into--

B
WHAT?

A
The brand new TV was gone, DVD player, printer, microwave, my hair dryer and they had squeezed all of my toothpaste out on my bed, after writing on my bathroom mirror with it.

B
What did they write?

A
“Sucker”.

B
Holy crap! That is definitely a day full of bad luck.  What bastards!

C
(unsympathetic)
Most unfortunate, sorry to hear.

A
UNFORTUNATE?! Bad luck is what I say!

C
Well, that’s because of your perception and like I said --

A
After all of that, you’re still running with the “it’s all my fault” theory?!

C
Uh ... yes.  Sorry.  Not to change the subject, but what is Restless Leg Syndrome, anyway?

A
I feel like I have to walk or move my legs whenever I sit down or go to bed. I get a tingly feeling in my legs and sometimes it’s very painful.

C
Oh, right, I’ve heard of that. Some people can’t sleep because of the pain and irritation in their legs.

B
Oh, man, wow.  That’s horrible!

A
Well, yes to top it all off I AM one of those sleep-deprived people, thanks to my damn restless legs!

B
So all this just started happening to you recently?

A
Yes, since two weeks ago.  Every day since the first, something unlucky has happened to me.

B
Have you had any signs of good luck?  Any at all?

C
(scoffs)
Any signs?  Really?  You, too?

B
Hey, come on!  You don’t ... oh forget it. 

A
No good signs whatsoever. Like today, while I was walking to work, it was nice and sunny, clear blue skies and then BANG!  A shot rings out and white pigeon falls dead on the ground in front of me.

B
Oh, well thank god.  That’s good!

A
Excuse me?!

C
What?!

A
In what world is a dead pigeon falling from the sky GOOD?!

C
No world that I know of.

A
I can’t believe I’m actually agreeing with YOU.

C
Well, it’s not THAT bad.

A
(scoffs)
Pfft.

B
But it IS a good thing.  Kind of.

A
(Disgusted)
The pigeon?  What kind of sick puppy are you?!  I fell over trying to avoid the poor thing and ended up spraining my ankle!

C
That was unfortunate.

A
UNFORTUNATE?! AGAIN?!

B
Okay, look: finding WHITE feathers is a sign of good luck. It means that an angel is looking after you.  You said it was a white pigeon, right?

A
Oh my god .... a few white feathers -- sure, I can see that.  But a whole damn bird, splat dead at my feet?!  You CAN’T tell me that’s good luck!

B
Oooh!  A whole bird full of luck!  Can you imagine if it had been a white duck?
(chuckles)

C
(chuckling)
Oh, you lucky duck!

A
I hardly think it’s all that lucky if the damn thing has been shot dead!

B
Okay, seriously, was there even a single feather that fell off the bird?

A
Well, come to think of it, yes.  One did fall off the bird while it was still airborne.  It floated down and brushed my nose.

B
(in awe)
Oh wow, you really are being looked after by an angel.

A
(a glimmer of hope in her voice)
Do you really think so?
(starts typing in computer)

C
Now this is ridiculous! I thought you people were intelligent.

B
Trust me, everything that you think has been bad luck for the past two weeks, I reckon has actually been good luck.  Someone’s got their eye on you.

C
There you go again! That’s just your skewed perception altering reality. Besides, who’s ever even SEEN an angel?!

B
Well, if an angel made it easy to contact and talk to then that would be interfering with life. Can you imagine? We would probably try to make deals with angels. That wouldn’t be very fair.

C
Are you even listening to yourself?!  You’ve exited the realm of rationality and succumbed to incoherent babbling!

A
I don’t believe this! You lied to me!
(reading off computer)
Says here “The order of the white feather of cowardice. The tradition of giving someone the white feather of cowardice goes back several hundred years, but became a populist issue in England during World War 1”.

B
Now, that is totally wrong. You can’t believe everything you read on the internet. Plus we aren’t in the middle of a war.

A
(still reading from screen)
No, there was even an organisation formed and they encouraged women to give young men white feathers who had not already joined the British Army.

B
Those were different times and--

C
(interrupts)
Perceptions were different!?

B
Oh, quiet with your perceptions already!

A
Says here “the pacifist, Fenner Brockway, claimed he received so many white feathers he had enough to make a fan.”
(said with pride and defiance)
I can tell you this, I am no coward, despite of all these bad things happening to me, I’m still out there living my life. 

Suddenly there’s a LOUD BANG on a window in C’s room.  The noise startles everyone.  The sound will be added in post-production.

A
Oh my god, what was that?!

B
I think I soiled myself.

C
(looking off to window that’s off-screen)
There’s white feathers all over my window and it looks like there’s a dead pigeon on the ground.

B
Oh, wow.  You are SO lucky.

A
No,  I don’t think so.  You must be a coward.  Definitely a coward.

C
Perception clouds reality, none more so than the perception of good or bad luck!

A
Are you SURE about that?

C
(looks off to window)
Uh .... no?

END



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