The Fundamentals of Fighting - Fight the One You Love

Recent developments in the dreaded real life are prompting today's post.  I say "dreaded" real life because every now and then something comes along and kicks you in the ass so hard, that no matter what flavor of awesomeness is passing across the screen of your webular life, you just can't help but think how sore your bum is.

I'll spare you the details of the real life drama and cut straight to the heart of the matter--which, if you've been paying attention, has been a regular theme in this blog: fighting.

Arguing.  Debating.  Expressing one's thoughts and opinions explicitly when they differ from those of the person you are talking to.

I think most of us can agree that fighting is a delicious part of a relationship.  For those of you who don't agree, don't worry ... you will, in due time.  Fighting, at it's core, is conflict.  And it is from the mud and scum of conflict that beautiful things grow.

But let's clarify the need to fight and argue.  Specifically, WHOM to fight and argue with.  We'll use a sample argument--a differing opinion on a particular movie in the cineplex--to illustrate these fundamentals.

JIM: "Oh, I really want to go see The Proposal.  Ryan Reynolds is the SHIT."
JANE: "Well, I can agree with that."
JIM: "Come again?"
JANE: "Ryan Reynolds is shit.  I wouldn't watch a movie starring him if you paid me."
JIM: "Um, EXCUSE ME?"

Here's where things get sticky.  What kind of relationship do you think Jim and Jane are in?  Married?  Dating?  Or are the just strangers passing a movie poster in the cineplex?  If it is, in fact, the latter, what point is there to the argument?  What reason does Jim have justifying is undying affection for Ryan Reynolds?

None whatsover.

(Unless, of course, Jim is single and is prone to picking up women at the movie theater.  Even so, though, the fact that Jane doesn't like Ryan Reynolds likely precludes any potential of the two of them hooking up.)

My point is that fighting between strangers is, more often than not, unnecessary and pointless.  If something comes up, it's likely the best idea to just walk away from the person save everyone a little stress.

But if Jim and Jane are NOT strangers ... this becomes the very necessity for a good fight.

Let me explain:

Instinctively, it may seem like this would be the fight to avoid (as opposed to the one where they're strangers).  But here's the catch: if neither of them ever express to each other why they feel that way about Ryan Reynolds, the end result is nothing (or a breakup, depending on how much Jim REALLY likes Ryan Reynolds and how much anger and hostility he will end up grudgingly holding against Jane for her dislike of the man).

Conversely, if they stop everything and have a good fight about Ryan Reynolds, they both have an opportunity to express WHY they feel the way the do and, if they're exceptionally good fighters, ultimately they'll understand each other's motives.  The end result?

Actually going to see the movie together?  A better understanding of each other?  Jointly overcoming an obstacle in their relationship and later, after watching The Proposal, having crazy hot make-up sex?

Fighting is a good thing.  A great thing, even.  Certainly better than the alternative.  You ever hear of a couple who never fights?  Doesn't that just make you want to pity them forever and for always?

Fighting is very good.

You wanna fight?

NOTE: After writing all of this, I did a search for a picture to include in the post and came across this blog that effectively states all of my thoughts and opinions on arguing ... only way more effectively than anything I wrote here today.

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